Where is My Mind?

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How do I let go of the need for control over chaos?

I know, philosophically, there is no control, no order, but I still want to know what’s going to happen, how it’s gonna ‘go’, to avoid the confusion, uncertainty, the clusterfucks, the mistakes. But those things keep coming despite my desire to smooth them out.

I’m doing it right now, in my mind, trying to anticipate the future instead of writing this…